Middle school

Now it’s time to get back to I.S 204 where the more I went to school the worse things got. The harassment only got worse and things started to get even more physical so I would stay home a lot more than I did when I was in P.S 76. I mean who would want to keep going to a place where you are attacked and threatened almost every day. RL was not in the school so I had no friends and I was all alone with no one to help me. Again my mother would try to get the teachers and the principal to stop all this but our pleas fell on deaf ears, she even tried calling the police but the response from everyone was always the same. All I ever heard was “oh it’s just kids being kids” or “he should toughen up a little” or “I’m sorry but there’s nothing we can do” we both just got so tired of hearing those words that I only went to school about once a week. Then of course the letters started. The school would send letters saying that I needed to come to school or I would get in trouble. Can you believe that!? After all the times I had requested help, after all the times she requested help, they had the nerve to send this letter to us. I bet they never sent the kids who would bother me letters home detailing what they were doing to me (and probably to other kids too) and telling them to stop or there would be consequences. In light of the letters though I had to be sent back there until one day I had gotten a threat of such serious physical violence that I was taken out of the school immediately and I was transferred to I.S 126. Little did I know that I had just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire because this is the place where my life would truly be forever changed and not for the better.

I.S 126 was another middle school in Queens. It looked like a nice enough place from the outside and for the first couple of weeks things were actually okay. It gave me hope that things just may change but it wasn’t too long until the bullying started. It was the same thing all over again with the name calling, the abuse, and the uncaring teachers. There was less physical violence then 204 but the verbal and psychological abuse was much worse. I started to believe that maybe it was me, maybe I was doing something wrong and that I deserved all this torment. I would sit alone at lunch not even wanting anyone near me and I stopped talking to most people period. I remember when I used to want to fit in but now I didn’t want to make friends anymore I  just wanted to be left alone because I thought if I was alone no could bother me but I was wrong. They would come over just to poke fun at the “fat kid” while I just sit there crying at the table. I always wondered why they wouldn’t just leave me alone; I never did anything bad to them so why are they always hurting me. There was physical violence too of course, I can remember one time when I was in gym class and we had to play basketball and whenever someone got the ball no one would pass it to me until they decided to pass the ball to my head instead to my hands because they thought it would be funny. Then everyone who got the ball would do the same thing and this happened over and over again until I just left gym class. It’s the reason why I hate basketball to this day, it brings back bad memories. This is around the time I started to turn to video games to escape all my problems. They gave me respite from all my problems with school and the shrinking of my family. I played a lot of RPGs (Role playing games) growing up because they were long games with good stories where I could be the hero and save the world and everyone liked me. I would play for hours on end and I was happy as long as I was playing a video game though my mother didn’t have a lot of money she knew that video games made me happy so she would buy them for me as much as she could. I still play video games today, it’s a love that has never left me even as I grow older, I just can’t play as often as I would like. That was basically my year in 6th grade full of torment, staying home from school, and video games.

Then there was the 7th grade where it was, of course, more of the same but this is also when I found an old friend and a new one too. I had found out that RL also went to this school because I saw him in the halls one day. It should have been a joyous reunion but he had new friends and we didn’t really talk much but I can say that no matter who bothered me he never did and even though we weren’t as close as we were in elementary school he was still kind to me and I never will forget that. Now this is also around the time I meet my only real friend in middle school and because I don’t know where his is now I will using his name with is Julian. Julian was a kid that came to the U.S from Brazil and he didn’t know many people at school. I believe we had class together and even though I’m not sure how, we ended up striking up a friendship. I didn’t see him much though because I would stay home from school a lot but when I was there he was a friend to me, we would do group projects together and hang out together at lunch and on the playground. That made being at school a little more bearable like it was when I would hang out with RL in elementary school but I still stayed home a lot due to all sorts of bullying from the other people in school and the school was against us even more then before with this school’s principal. My mother had never been up to a school or talked to the principal as much as she did with I.S 126 and I could that the principal really disliked her and me for it. I believe that it was this animosity that lead to the events that turned my life completely upside down and changed me into the person I am today.


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